Xaara Novack Interview with an angry fly. So the theme of the story was suggested by Xaara and a tricky theme it is. I will give it a go, I feel up to the challenge to get into the mind of a fly, I will be the fly as it were, so here we go.
Interview with an angry fly
“My name is Buzzstastic Mingleham, but you can call me Buzz, as most of my friends call me. Most humans call me “I will kill you,” which is rather rude, as I am usually flying around minding my own business. At some point I just got enough of the abuse from them, they killed my friends, killed them by beating them to death with a newspaper, can you imagine being killed by the news, how terribly ironic isn’t that?
You are having an Interview with an angry fly, what did you expect?!
Well at some point I really had enough, being chased around a room from some painter yelling at me to leave her alone, me who only wanted to admire her paintings, puh people have no manners any more.”
The interview with an angry fly continues.
“Have you ever thought about humans, I mean really thought about them and how they behave? They are some kind of psychopathic breed of living entities in my facetted eyes. You don’t believe me, well I can prove it very easily. Just you fly into a human house to say hello, I mean a simple hello and what do you get? First you fly around and try to greet them, at that time they wave their hands in a kind of greeting fashion and they kind of freeze, strange but that is what they do. Now like any polite guest you do what the hosts do. You land at some nice flat surface, reaching out your legs to say hello. What do you think happens then, you think they come over and shake your hands? No instead they try to sneak, in that clumsy way that humans do, and then they try to hit you with a rolled up newspaper. I mean if that is not the trait of a psychopath I don’t know what is.”
“So now I have started a protest against this kind of cruel behaviour from those smelly, sweaty, sugar offering bastards. We call it “Flies Over Race a Petition for Emancipation Against Credulity and for Enlightenment” or in short F.O.R. P.E.A.C.E. You see, how we take the higher ground against the humans. We have started several actions this summer, and to be honest if we don’t do it in the summer we really won’t do it all. We have to do it now and change society so my 500 children will not have to experience the horrors I have to endure.”
“We have started to demonstrations, maybe you have seen us doing it? We fly around people and shout or slogans “Newspapers are for reading not hitting do you hear!” or “What do we want? Freedom! When do we want it? Bzzzzzzz!”
We have got pretty much opposition against our cause, and by opposition I mean that people try to kills us by any means they can, but we will not give up, we will never…”
-At this point the fly now flew away to a sugar cube, scoffed away a while before coming back. As he came back, obviously high on sugar, he refused to answer the question about a possible sugar addiction. He actually threaten to quit the interview if more such questions are asked. We agreed to stop asking and the interview with an angry fly continues.
-Let me call on my friends and show you what we do!”
Buzz flies away again, still angry, and shortly comes back with some comrades.
“Now you little human who show us no respect, you will pay the price! Come on comrades attack him and make him pay!”
-The flies starts to bump into my head and even though it does not hurt it is a bit annoying. I ask them polity several times to quit, but they refuse.
“You servile little human, you are no match for the might of the fly”, Buzz keeps saying and hitting. Every time he gives a small ouch, obviously hurting himself more then me.
In the end it is really hard for a human to stand this quite unwarranted attack on a poor journalist. So I slowly but surly I start to roll today’s newspaper into a hard role and do what must be done with an angry mob of demonstrating flies, with a tendency for megalomania. You hit them with the news and solve the problem, once and for all, or until next summer anyway.
Text written by JMS
